Michael Eldridge, Day 2

Matthew 7:21-23 (ESV)

     "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?' And then will I declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.'"

My Father, this is one of those days when following You feels harder than it should. It's not Your fault. You're leading and providing, speaking and comforting, closing a door here and opening one there... right there, as a matter of fact. I can see it. I can even feel the excitement over walking to it, then through it... and that's what scares me.

In some moments, Father, I can't tell if my heart is really Yours. I know Your promises, that I'm saved to the uttermost and ever in Your grip, but is my heart really Yours today... later today... over the next thirty minutes?

The last time You opened a new door to me I seemed ready to do something amazing for You, but You know how things turned out. I can't forget it. There was plenty of blame to go around, sure, but I know. I just know... my heart wasn't fully Yours... and this is how I know: in the middle of doing so much "in your name" I found myself wanting more. I caught myself chasing fulfillment and achievement, the thrill of accomplishing something that helped others, and especially the approval of people. My heart was Yours, but then it became so much more mine. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Father!

Hmmmm...

On my best day, in Your holy gaze I must've looked more like someone who doesn't know Your Son at all, who never really did. Others probably never noticed, but You knew. You always do.

Today I want it to be different, Father. Thank You for this new door. The fact that You're opening it says even more about grace than I knew before. This time, though, help me walk in such a  recovered newness and passion that my every reason for serving comes down to a simple disciple savoring the journey with his Master! Help me be satisfied simply finding and enjoying You in the everyday of Your will being done.

Hmmmmmmmm...

Suddenly following You today doesn't seem so hard. Leave it to You, Father, to amaze me all over again. Thank You...

...thank You, my Father...

...it's in Jesus' name that I come...and even in Jesus' name that I go...

 ...Amen.